This summer, more than ever, I realized that my kids were absolutely walking all over me. Discipline was a bit of a joke, and listening to mom was absolutely nonexistent. In fact, when I say “no”, both kids laugh at me. Really, they laugh. Even when I had on my super serious, I am so not taking this anymore face on, they laughed. I don’t know if it was the “mom get me my water on the table because I am thirsty and I don’t want to get up from playing” or the “I want that toy because you don’t buy me enough” which broke this camel’s back, but I have that this was all over. I don’t want my kids to be afraid of me, but I want to ask something, and them to respond positively. I don’t want to raise bratty kids – honestly, I want them to be nice, self-sufficient, empathetic people. The path we were starting to go towards was not pretty.
This summer I am learning how to say no. I know pathetic, right? But I said no to the little toys that I could buy which would make my child happy for 5 minutes and would go to the big bin with the other forgotten items, I said no to the little treats when they were not deserved, and I said no when I was asked to do something that my child could very easily do for themselves. A lot of you might be thinking this is completely pathetic, but honestly, I am a working mom who has so much guilt and I feel like if I can do something or buy something for my child, what’s the harm. This parenting style is also known as creating a monster…
Well, in the midst of a joint disciplining effort with my husband, and telling my son that no, he could not watch a movie in the middle of the day just because he felt like it, my husband and I decided that we would walk away from the situation. We would leave our son in the TV room, and we would take our daughter (and the remote) to the playroom which is in our basement. We figured he would be downstairs in a matter of seconds, because he couldn’t bear to be away from us.
Oh how wrong we were. A lesson was then learned in a major mommy brain (and daddy brain moment) that you should not separate yourself from your child when you are on the wrong side of the deadbolt. Thankfully, we have a door in the basement and we had left our kitchen slider open, so it was not a huge problem – just a big “oh s%^t” moment. In good news, me arriving in the house when my son thought he had locked us in the basement frightened him a bit to realize that mommy has big powers, and should not be messed with.
I am sure there are many more mommy brain moments to follow, as my 3 ½ year old continues to outsmart me during “project discipline”.
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Oh I can so relate…LOL but it’s not funny…you are very right and doing a great job! Keep it up…after 4 boys ages 22-3….You are being a parent they are going to thank you for having later in their lives!
Wow! Pretty clever on your son’s part. My daughter’s ability to get into mischief never ceases to amaze me, so I can only imagine how tough she’ll be once she gets a little older!
I love this because our timeout spot is at the end a long hall and our bedroom is just around the corner. During those timeouts that don’t quite last just the 2 minutes, X will sometimes run into our room and lock the door, which is a big no-no time out or not. We can pop the lock but I always think it’s odd to ask a little boy to unlock the door so we can put him back in his time out. Congrats on the super powers and good luck on your discipline – you are so not alone!
This is a great story for a couple reasons.
1. You recognize the importance of saying “no” and setting boundaries and limits. We too have come home from the store with the $5 toy that is forgotten in 5 minutes. )We’re also working on curbing that.)
2. You showed your son that even when he thinks he’s pulled one over on Mommy (and Daddy), Mommy always wins in the end. Always bet on Mommy!
oh this made me laugh, but only because it wasn’t my kid! I totally hear you on the working Mama guilt, I suffer from that too. Congrats on realizing the path you were heading down and changing your course. I am working on that myself.
Stopping by via Two in Diapers Blog hop! Very Cute header by the way
Look forward to following your post updates!
Too funny! And I totally get the time to take back control thing. We go through that once in a while where I suddenly realize the kids have been demanding things and we’re throwing out too many warnings. I’m so glad you linked up to the Mommy-Brain Mixer, friend! I can’t wait to see you again next week!
Heidi, I agree!! It is hard to change course…fingers crossed, and wishing you luck as well
Mel, i love that…always bet on mommy
Tina, that is what I keep telling myself!!!
Omg Dana!!! Kids can be do clever and so crazy smart! Thank goodness you left slider open!!!
My son is 8 and still thinks i have a magic key to open the bathroom door. You know how you can have a special hook thing of nail to stick through those holes and open doors. Anyway, this sound terrible but I do want my son to be afraid of me. He’s going to taller than me by the time he gets in the 5th grade. Even when I have to look up at him I want him to take me seriously. I have mastered a glare and talking through my teeth that he does not like to see – it also comes with a finger snap that makes him move like lightening. ~TALU
I would not have lived to write this comment had I ever dared to do such a thing to my parents LOL. [#TALU]